One of the problems with getting into Heaven the traditional way, is that you have to spend so much time going to church, singing hymns, repenting, and then forking your money over to a collection basket.
But what if you could just pay some money in advance, and free up your Sundays for something else?
For $12.79, or $24.95 for the All Access Kit, you'll get your name added to the list in advance of checking in at the Pearly Gates. And just to assure any nay-sayers, the Reserve A Spot In Heaven offers everyone a money back guarantee, should Heaven reneg on your reservation.
And after the reservation has been arranged, you'll receive the following essentials...
Heavenly ...
Throx is a company that sells socks, claiming to have solved the problem of the missing sock: by selling three socks instead of two.
This reminds of the time when I bought ten fingernail clippers at the drug store, and spread them all over the house, because I was tired of not being able to find one when I needed it.
Visit Throx online...
http://www.throx.com
The Plate Flipper is a device that hooks to your car's license plate, allowing it to flip down, and reveal a special message for the guy behind you.
Perfect for drivers in Los Angeles and Orange County who like to show off their vanity while weaving in and out of lanes in their BMWs.
I think what's needed is a programmable LED version, where at the push of a button you can display different messages.
I imagine it can also be used avoid paying tolls on toll roads, allowing you to evade the cameras.
Visit Plate Flipper online at...
http://www.plateflipper.com
A company called Kidz-Med, Inc. has launched a new thermometer called, "Thermofocus", claiming it as the first thermometer to take accurate body temperature readings without touching the body.
The product's website says it can read infrared heat eminating from a person's forehead, and give results as accurate as a rectal thermometer, and more accurate than an ear thermometer.
The reason why they recommend pointing the device to the forehead is because the head is supplied with blood from the temporal artery, which receives blood through the aorta and the carotid artery, guaranteeing a considerable flow of blood. Moreover, the forehead is the only part of the body close to the brain that is not covered in hair.
Kidz-Med says you ...
Just in case you get abducted by aliens, hauled out into deep space, poked and prodded, and then dumped off at the next planet, your Earth Dog Tag will help you get back home.
Just flag down some unsuspecting alien taxi cab, show them the drawing of where Earth is located, and hope to God the driver can figure it out.
But you better make sure you don't lose your dog tag in a game of alien poker. You'll never know what horror you might be sending our way.
Buy your Location Earth Dog Tag online...
http://www.earthbounddog.com/
The Big Daddy Driver looks like a massive golf club, but is actually a weed wacker.
Meant to be more as a novelty item, it actually is a working weed wacker.
But it's size lends itself to fit inside a golf bag. So should your ball land in the rough, you could theoretically pull this baby out, clear away the weeds, and give yourself a better shot.
The product's website doesn't mention replacement string, though I get the sense they don't expect this thing to be utilized often.
Visit Big Daddy Driver online...
http://www.bigdaddydriver.com/
A new company called, On The Rocks, based out of Hartford, CT, is selling bagged ice in resealable bags.
They claim to be the world's first bagged ice intended exclusively for use in beverages. It's ice is supposedly of such a high quality, that it comes in a resealable bag, to keep it fresh and pure in your freezer.
According to their website...The product is then packaged in a Puncture Resistant, Re-sealable package and sealed with a tamper evident seal. The bag is then printed with a lot code as per FDA Bottled Water Regulations and automatically packed in a case for shipment.This way, if the FDA determines any contaminants have entered the ice, the company ...
A man named Randall Dale Chipkar is selling an EMF shield designed to be fitted inside a motorcycle seat.
"EMF" stands for electromagnetic field. He claims that EMFs can cause cancer, and that motorcycles are emitting enough of these EMFs to put riders in danger. His EMF shield can be fitted inside a motorcycle seat to provide riders with "peace of mind".
In fact, Chipkar authored a book entitled, "MOTORCYCLE CANCER? Are motorcycles KILLING US with cancers of the prostate, colon, kidney, bone, etc?", where he documents cases of riders whom he met diagnosed with cancer, and which he claims were victims of their own motorcycles.
"All of these riders had extremely low frequency (ELF) electromagnetic field ...
It's said that "necessity is the mother of invention".
So, when two 8-year old twin boys revealed their "wedgie-proof underwear" on the Ellen DeGeneres Show today, they wore smiles knowing that they just upped the ante on the school yard bully.
What they dubbed as the "Rip Away 1000" is more like a cleverly designed escape strategy. The underwear is constructed into two pieces, bound together by velcro. So that when Farkus the bully grabs the wasteband of your RA1K's, they "rip away", leaving him with a handful of your cooties, while you make a break for the yard duty officer.
Source:
Columbus Dispatch
The Confidisc is a plastic disk that fits over the needle of a hypodermic syringe, blocking one's view of the needle. The manufacturer says that this reduces the pain perception associated with self-administered injections.
It was created by a diabetic named Chris Hillios who had faced fears of injecting himself with insulin. By focusing on the disk rather than the needle, he claims it makes self-administered injections so much more easier...It is truly amazing that a simple device like Confidisc can make such a huge difference in one's life. Our testing has shown that Confidisc not only reduced pain perception, it clearly reduced injection anxiety.He also says that the disk forces the needle into the skin at a 90 degree angle, ...
One of the problems with getting into Heaven the traditional way, is that you have to spend so much time going to church, singing hymns, repenting, and then forking your money over to a collection basket. 
